DTV Heaven: Roman (video review)

I said it would be done by today.  So here it is.  This is the kind of movie that appeals to pretty specific audiences, but I liked it, so you might too!

On a side note, I’m giving up on Pinnacle Studio, because its a flawed piece of crap that constantly crashes and fights me for control harder than an OS X Mac.  A few notes after the jump. Continue reading


DTV Heaven: Cinderella 3: A Twist in Time

“Do you remember the story of the girl who lived a life of cinders, and who found true love because she kept a beautiful dream alive in her heart?” Yeah, I do, I just reviewed the sequel last time. Oh, wait, that’s right, there’s another unnecessary sequel to that movie.

Cinderella III: A Twist in Time is one of the very last Disney Sequels to be produced, before the company decided to can the concept completely, making exceptions for the Tinkerbell movies, of course. So, perhaps it is a fantastic irony that one of the very last of these legendarily poor films happened to be not only good, but, in my honest opinion, better than the movie it was based on. Yeah, you read that right. Continue reading

DTV Heaven: Scooby Doo and the Witch’s Ghost (text review)

Perhaps this is a strange trait to have, but I actually still enjoy Scooby Doo. Yeah, its simple and cheesy for the most part, but it was a fun kind of mystery series that was a solid show for children. I’m apparently not the only one who likes the franchise, as Hanna Barbera has repeatedly released and rebooted the franchise, with the newest production of Scooby Doo: Mystery Incorporated. However, in the early 2000’s, the first of what would be a series of direct-to-DVD movies was released. They eventually became tired and boring, but the first few movies actually managed to be an attempt to bring the franchise into the modern age. It may not have succeeded fantastically, but they warrant a watch even now for the things they do get right. Continue reading

DTV Heaven: AcceleRacers, Part One: World Race

It’s no secret that cartoons are often made for children, or, in the case of anything by Seth MacFarlane, man-children. But such cartoons have still managed to become pop culture icons and the source of many fond memories. Pokemon, TMNT, Transformers, HeMan, and dozens of other series from the childhoods of children throughout the modern television age have lasted in the memories of people like me, who refuse to grow up. Continue reading

Direct-To-Video Heaven? The Call of Cthulhu (text summery and review)

In the early days of cinema, the standard was the silent film. Early technology allowed for video to be captured easily in black and white, but sound was a whole other matter. In the great age of the silent films, the importance of the actor’s physical performance was paramount, as a lack of real dialogue was a constant. Often, the theater would play the film with music provided by in-house musicians, who would either improvise in the early days, or, as was more commonplace after the groundbreaking racist piece, The Birth of a Nation, would play from written scores. Their music provided the only sound to either add or detract from the actor’s expressions, and in a way, since each town had its own musician, and they played each time the movie was shown, audiences essentially never experienced exactly the same film twice. Due to this, silent film is a kind of go-between from stage productions to flat out cinema, and manages to have many of the advantages and disadvantages of both.

Most of the films of the silent era are sadly lost forever, including the nigh-on legendary nine hour original cut of Greed, but interestingly enough, though the in-house musician may be gone, a surprising film has resurrected the silent film methods to tell perhaps one of the greatest horror stories of all time… Continue reading