A bunch of Generic Reviews: Real Steel, 50/50, Lion King 3D, Drive, and The Thing

Okay, big content relinking today: reviews of the movies I’ve seen the last month or so. Lots of stuff, so after the break. Continue reading

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DTV Hell Special: Little Mermaid 3 and “Midnight Hell”

Hey, I have a pair of videos for you all today.  First, my Midnight Release review of “30 Minutes or Less” with Zen’s more thorough review of “Final Destination 5” in 3D!

Next up, my newest DTV Hell review of Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Beginning.  And this time, it’s not a Disney Sequel, it’s a prequel!  But, it sucks all the same.

[blip.tv http://blip.tv/play/AYLNyxAA%5D

DTV Heaven: Cinderella 3: A Twist in Time

“Do you remember the story of the girl who lived a life of cinders, and who found true love because she kept a beautiful dream alive in her heart?” Yeah, I do, I just reviewed the sequel last time. Oh, wait, that’s right, there’s another unnecessary sequel to that movie.

Cinderella III: A Twist in Time is one of the very last Disney Sequels to be produced, before the company decided to can the concept completely, making exceptions for the Tinkerbell movies, of course. So, perhaps it is a fantastic irony that one of the very last of these legendarily poor films happened to be not only good, but, in my honest opinion, better than the movie it was based on. Yeah, you read that right. Continue reading

DTV Hell: Cinderella II: My computer was in a coma… I mean, Dreams Come True

So, first off, to anyone who actually has been here in the last month or more, yes, my computer, that I use not only to make these posts but to type the reviews and watch many of the movies, completely crapped out on me for about a month.  Forewarning, it’s not fixed, it just felt like working again.  So, now comes the data harvesting in case such a thing happens again (and it will).  However, this review has been a long time coming, so it’s about time we get it out there.  Expect the next review in a day or two (they are both finished already).

Yes, folks. It’s that time again. Disney Sequel Time!

And this time, we are doing a two-parter. A pair of movies that should not have existed, irrespective of quality. Yes, the pointless sequels of the timeless tale of Cinderella, with the first being Cinderella II: Dreams Come True. Yeah, right. If dreams could really come true with consistency, I’d be a happier person, and these movies wouldn’t exist. Continue reading

DTV Hell: The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea (text review)

Another week, another bad Disney sequel. But, on the bright side, I’ve moved into my new apartment, so hopefully I can figure out some way to get access to more bad direct to video movies, though I did find what appears to be a good choice online recently. In any case, let’s get to this week’s movie.

In the early 1980’s, skilled Disney animator Don Bluth left the company, taking a number of other animators with him and starting his rival company. During the time shortly after that, Bluth made a handful of animation masterpieces that have inspired their own wonderful fodder for this site, but that isn’t what we’re looking at today. It took Disney a while to get back into the swing of things, but eventually they released the animated classic that would spark the famous “Disney Renaissance.” This movie? Why, The Little Mermaid, of course. After this point, many of Disney’s famous works of the 90’s followed, including Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and many more. It was a time of great profits. But, to some within the company, not great enough. Many Disney movies would receive the Disney Sequel treatment, some fairing better than others. However, even one of the company’s most financially important productions would receive not one, but TWO direct to video movies to unnecessarily extend its universe. So, we’d best start with the first of these today: The Little Mermaid II:Return to the Sea. Continue reading

DTV Hell: The Hunchback of Notre Dame II (text summery and review)

It seems I made a bit of a mistake in my original intended review. As it turns out, Disney’s Return to Neverland, was, surprisingly, released in theaters, and therefore, doesn’t qualify for DTV Hell. I may decide to break my rules and review it anyway at some point in the future, but I have bigger fish to fry now. I was planning to save this piece of crap for another day, but hey, after a very good movie like The Call of Cthulhu, it’s best to follow up with not only one of the worst Disney sequels ever, but the sequel to what I consider to be the best Disney animated movie. Continue reading