DTV Hell: Cinderella II: My computer was in a coma… I mean, Dreams Come True

So, first off, to anyone who actually has been here in the last month or more, yes, my computer, that I use not only to make these posts but to type the reviews and watch many of the movies, completely crapped out on me for about a month.  Forewarning, it’s not fixed, it just felt like working again.  So, now comes the data harvesting in case such a thing happens again (and it will).  However, this review has been a long time coming, so it’s about time we get it out there.  Expect the next review in a day or two (they are both finished already).

Yes, folks. It’s that time again. Disney Sequel Time!

And this time, we are doing a two-parter. A pair of movies that should not have existed, irrespective of quality. Yes, the pointless sequels of the timeless tale of Cinderella, with the first being Cinderella II: Dreams Come True. Yeah, right. If dreams could really come true with consistency, I’d be a happier person, and these movies wouldn’t exist.

So, before we move on, I should first point out that this is an anthology piece. You know, multiple shorter stories put together for the movie. In fact, it almost seems like the movie is made up of what would be episodes in a TV show. Hmmmm…

That out of the way, let’s get started. We start in the castle, with animation that is at least on par with Hunchback II, so at least it looks better than the original movie. Technically, anyway. The mice are heading off to meet Fairy Godmother, who I guess just comes by to visit and read the Cinderella story to them. You know, the one in which they played an integral part. The mice bemoan the lack of any more Cinderella stories, which I’m totally sure is the reason Disney made this obvious cash-in, because we were so damn short on Cinderella stories. And, well, that’s it. That’s our framing story, and it doesn’t ever get good. Oh, and the music is pretty horrible this time around, since most of it is sung by background singing, with none of the characters participating. Brilliant.

“Who’d want to read a book written by mice?” Um, scientists? Cause that would be pretty damn impressive.

So, our first real story is about what happened right after Cinderella moved in. First, I have to say that Jennifer Hale’s performance as Cinderella in this movie and the next is quite good, and easily the best thing in this movie specifically. So, it turns out that she needs to organize this big party before the king and the prince return from official business. But, of course, she just can’t get into doing things they way royalty does them, so she has to do things in her own way. And, of course, that works out perfectly in the end. Yeah, that’s it. That’s the first story.

What the hell? I would hope Disney could be more creative than that, but since almost all of their sequels are rehashes of the original movies, or great ideas squandered (I’m looking at you, Mulan II), I guess they really can’t be more creative than that. And besides that, aren’t the various royals you are inviting to the ball going to be pissed that they aren’t being treated with the specific level of respect they believe they deserve? To say nothing of bringing commoners into the castle. It might go over with the king, but Lady Beckonsfield and Lord Savage aren’t so easily convinced.

Anyway, onto the next completely uncreative story, we have Jacque (or Jack, whatever) bemoaning his lack of size, which prevents him from being as helpful to Cinderella now as he was when she was basically a slave and a prisoner. You know, I would hope for him to be happy for her, but he doesn’t seem to act that way really. Anyway, he eventually meets up with Fairy Godmother, who grants his wish to be human so he can be of more use to Cinderella.

Oh, and by the way, all three stories have Cinderella working to plan some kind of party, and even the movie comments on this pointlessness. Getting back to the summary, eventually an elephant gets loose, and Jack has to become a mouse again to get rid of it. He learns a lesson about accepting yourself for who you are, and the story ends with that trite bullcrap.

Ugh, this is physically hurting by now. Luckily, we only have one more left, and it’s actually not too bad. However, much like the other stories, it is mostly predictable. However, this one is technically relevant to the next sequel we will be reviewing, Cinderella III. In any case, we come to find that Cinderella’s stepsister, Anastasia, isn’t actually completely evil, like in the first movie. She is interested in finding love, which she does find in the form of the baker. This is watchable, and the characterization here for Anastasia is quite preferable to the original movie, what with her not being a slave-driving bitch and all that. In the end, she is given the chance at happiness, and Cinderella wins one against the evil stepmother. The End.

Yeah, this review is pretty short. It’s one of those kinds of movies that honestly is a complete waste of time. I really can’t recommend this movie at all. The music feels separated and pointless, and the animation is both poor by modern standards and lacking in the charm of the original movie. Along with that, the plots are all completely cliché, and the whole thing feels like a bunch of abandoned television episodes. Everything here screams “cheap cash-in,” and that just can’t work. This belongs in the circle of Avarice. It doesn’t really betray the original work, but then again, I don’t think very highly of the original movie, so betrayal might be a good thing.

Yes, I think that perhaps a little bit of a “twist” on the original storyline might well lead to a much better movie overall…

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